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JJ has only been a recent convert to the ways of loving Effy, but he feels that same maddening, deep love for her too. The kind that makes a man say “fuck it” to the friends he’s had for nearly all his life. She is worth everything, yet it doesn’t seem fair that she has this power over them. Then Cook asks JJ about Effy, about if he’s just using her until Freds swoops in and admits his feelings. “Don’t tell me what I want!” he says in anger, ironically channeling Freddie when JJ accused him of not wanting Effy. “I love them both, I fucking do. I may never stop loving Freddie, but he broke my heart. To fucking little jagged pieces. I just want the fucking truth from him. But as long as he keeps schtum about why he decided to use me for his own fucked up reasons, maybe I’ll never properly get over him. But I love Effy, with everything I fucking have. And I just want the two fucking best mates I’ve ever had to be at my bloody wedding. Is that so much to ask for?” JJ feels his blood pressure spike. His face feels warm, turning red from shame and anger. He breathes hard, from anger and crying. Cook gets off the balance beam, pulling JJ off into one of his bear hugs. But JJ gently shoves Cook off of him, his knees hitting the wood chip covered ground. “Don’t touch me,” he says pathetically, “I hurt everyone I touch. I made Effy go mad by telling her about Foster. And by telling Foster about all of you, I’m the reason Freds got a bloody bat to the bonce.” He cries hard, beginning to hiccup through his tears. “I don’t deserve you…any of you…” JJ trails off, the pieces of the vodka bottle shining in the moonlight. He reaches out for them, like a child wanting to play with something dangerous. Then that stupid, mocking voice starts taunting JJ, the one that mocked him during his last mental break. Nobody likes you, everyone left you, they’re all out without you, having fun. His fingertips are so close to a particularly sharp looking piece of the glass. Maybe everyone would be better off if I was gone…
Cook feels JJ’s hands on his biceps and he pushed him away roughly, Cook stumbled back for a minute. He wasn’t sure JJ would understand if he told him he knew exactly what he was going through right now, but he really did. Cook watched his actions, feeling like he didn’t know what to say or do. JJ seemed to be going through his own mental breakdown, as they all had once or twice over the years. “Jay come on.” Cook sighed before watching as JJ seemed to find something intriguing to his eyes in the wood chips. Soon enough, Cook realized that he was about to grab one of the large shards of glass from the vodka bottle off of the ground and Cook pushed his hand away but he reached again. Leaning forward Cook grabbed JJ, holding him against his body as he moved to the ground, pulling him into his own body. “Just fuckin’ stop JJ.” He said as he pulled him closer, sighing as he realized the shards of glass had been pushed away by their shoes in the struggle. “You’re not allowed to fuckin’ die alright? So stop trying.” He said quietly as he moved his hand to JJ’s head, holding it against his chest while kissing the top of his head slowly. “Fuck it all mate, just focus on the good stuff….focus on Eff…” He said quietly as he felt the fabric of JJ’s shirt slipping from his grip and he grabbed it again, firmly as he looked forward at the swings which were all sitting still. “Focus on what do you have mate…” He whispered as he held JJ tightly in his arms. That’s all he could do, he couldn’t keep thinking of the future and everything that was bound to eventually happen, he had to focus on the right now.
Cook goes on about Becky Glasworth. JJ could care less, he barely remembers who she is. Probably another fucking girl he pretended to like to throw suspicion off of his true desires. He sniffles, tears continuing to flow down his face. He grabs the bottle back, drinking the burning liquid deeply. Vodka, always the thing JJ went to to forget about Freddie. Ever since that first fucking kiss. “Girls…why is it always fucking girls? Everything was so much fucking simpler without them. We were so much simpler without them. So why…why is it that after 12 years, 1 fucking girl can tear us all apart?” JJ opens his phone up, showing Cook the frantic amount of text messages he’s sent Freddie for the past week. “I get it, ok? We all love her. But after all we’ve fucking been through, can’t he at least talk to me? If anything, I should be the one pissed at him. Effy too, even. He’s never…he has never fucking given me any explanation for…you know, what happened between us. He keeps jerking me the fuck around, wanting me then turning around and wanting her. I’m mostly over it, but all I need is a fucking explanation and he refuses to give it to me. Then Effy and I got engaged again and now he wants me to go to fuck. I’ve given him everything, I nearly died for him! I took on Foster for him, for Effy too. And he just wants to fucking throw that away?!” JJ pants, the more he talks, the more hysterical he gets. He feels so fucking angry and hurt, so on impulse, he throws the vodka bottle on the ground. “Dammit!” he screams as the bottle shatters.
Cook listens when JJ begins speaking, he can feel the pain in his words. So why…why is it that after 12 years, 1 fucking girl can tear us all apart? “She’s Effy fucking Stonem.” He shrugged, remembering the first time he ever saw her. He remembered thinking that he’d never seen something/someone so beautiful before. She was confident and it was enticing and he wanted to see her again. “She’s the one that’s worth everything..” He said quietly as he got off of the bar, leaning down and grabbing some of the wood chips. He sat back upon the bar, throwing the wood chips as far as he could, hearing them clank against the metal slide. He began speaking again and he couldn’t help but wonder aloud, “Jay, do you ever think that you love Effy but you really want Freds?” He asked while playing with one of the wood chips between his fingers as he turned his head to the side, looking at his mate. “I mean…the way you’re talking it’s like you actually want him and you’re using her until he becomes interested again.” He knew JJ wasn’t actually using Effy or they wouldn’t be engaged right now, or he hoped he knew JJ well enough to know he wouldn’t d that to her. “I know you love her but I think you know that you love him more.” He shrugged, throwing another one of the wood chips. “You can’t string her along until he figures out if he wants you J-Kins.” He then heard the bottle shatter on the ground and he stopped throwing the wood chips, turning to look at JJ. His face was getting red and it seemed like he was moving into one of his rage episodes. Cook hated those ones because JJ seemed like he was on some kind of drug that made him super strong when they happened. He dropped the wood chips, sighing as he got off the bar and wrapped his arms around JJ, pulling him off of the bar as he felt the glass pressing against the bottom of his sneakers. “It’s ol’right…” He said quietly as he held him against his own body.
Arcia….yeah..
How drunk were you when you picked her up? :P
On a scale of 1-10? 8.
That makes sense. Because for a doppleganger of Effy, she’s not very pretty. :P
She was a good shag for the night though.
Bridget was standing in the middle of her living room with a cut off t shirt that was exposing her perfectly flat stomach, and tight jeans. She wanted to get work done today, taking a swig off of the bottle of vodka she was holding, she bent down into one of the boxes and pulled out some frames, placing them along the fireplace. She needed to get unpacked, luckily that guy Cook was going to come over and help her. She’d read his profile, he had a girlfriend that she was well aware of, and she wasn’t about ready to go off sleeping with other girl’s boyfriends again, she already pretty much had the big A stitched to her clothes since the first time. Pulling out some candles, Bridget decorated the living room while she waited. The big boxes she needed help with were in the middle of her hallway, she needed them to be brought upstairs to her bedroom, and some needed to go into the living room. Hopefully Cook was handy because she needed help getting a TV to sit on the wall.
Getting bored with unpacking, Bridget sat on her couch, taking a swig off of her bottle. Leaning over, she turned on her radio that was set on some rock station. Remembering she had work that night, she threw her head back and closed her eyes. Fuuuuck forgot about that. Work was good though, kept her mind off of things, as well as provided an income, and boy did she get some good tips. Hearing a knock at the door, Bridget stood, bouncing over to the door and unlocked it. Taking a swig of her bottle, she eyed Cook. ” Welcome.” She said pushing the door open and handing him the bottle. ” As you can see I haven’t done anything, procrastination.” She said smiling.
He hadn’t seen the girl before, he heard a lot of stuff about her though. Apparently she is Australian (according to JJ) and (also according to JJ) she broke up Lara and Chris. Though he didn’t care for either of the two because they were both wankers. One wanker who he shagged and one wanker who he fought. When the door opened and he saw the girl standing in front of him she didn’t seem much different than what he had seen before. Cook had been with a lot of girls, most of the time they began to look the same but now that he was with Emily all he wanted was her. It was an odd feeling for him because he was always the ladies man, the man who would play the field and make it a contest to see how many women he could shag. He watched as she allowed her eyes to scan his body, something he didn’t mind because he had been tempted several times before and he was very loyal to Emily as long as they had been in a relationship together. As long as looking doesn’t count, which it doesn’t right? She held out the bottle for him to take and he took it, almost immediately taking a drink. He walked into the flat, keeping the bottle at his side as he noticed all of the unopened boxes everywhere. He laughed as she spoke, scratching his head. “I can see that.” He walked into the living room, finding a seat on the couch as he took another long swig from the bottle. “How’s Naoms?” She had texted him mentioning she was going to be living with the new girl, Bridget, since Cook moved into her old flat with Emily. It was so odd since Naomi was the one who said she thought Cook should move in with the two of them. Apparently she couldn’t handle hearing them having sex all of the time which he understood cause he would be bugging out if something similar happened to him.
(Source: fuckinggateauu, via communistic-affairr-deactivated)
Arcia….yeah..
How drunk were you when you picked her up? :P
On a scale of 1-10? 8.
Arcia….yeah..
(via lonelypeopleareallthesame-deact)
JJ has been feeling upset. He shouldn’t though, he has a wedding to plan with Effy. He isn’t alone, will never be alone. He has Effy, Cook, Emily, Naomi, Maxxie, hell, even Tony. But the one person he wants back in his life more than anything is Freddie, but he hates JJ for getting engaged to Effy. It breaks JJ’s heart to have Freddie hate him. As a friend, he feels like shit for breaking up the Musketeers again. And because JJ wants Freddie to be one of his best men more than anything in this world. But that isn’t all, it never will be. A part of him will always be in love with Freddie. Having him go back and forth between loving him and loving Effy shatters his heart into pieces. And having the one man he loves more than life itself hate his guts just drives him over the edge. JJ needs some air, so he wanders around Bristol in the middle of the night. He stops at a 24 hour liquor store and buys a bottle of vodka. He drinks, feeling tears flow down his face. His nighttime wanderings lead him to a place that he hasn’t been in 7 years: Walcott Primary School. The meeting place of the Musketeers a staggering 12 years ago. JJ can feeling something familiar and scary stirring in the back of his mind. Fearing for his sanity, he shoots Cook a text to find him “where they first met.”
JJ finds himself on the old playground. Knowing that fateful day like the back of his hand, he goes over to the old balance beam and sits on it like he did when he was 7. The memories play in front of JJ’s eyes like home movies.
Harold, the big bully on campus, shoves him off of the balance beam. He and his lackeys push him face-first in the dirt, screaming at him and pulling his hair.
Freak!
Spakko!
Nerd!
Nobody wants to be your friend!
JJ begins locking-on until the weight is lifted off of him. He raises his head a fraction, noticing a young Freddie holding his hand out.
Need some help?
On his feet, he notices a young Cook jumping the three knobs. He wins the fight, scaring them off and howling like a lunatic.
That’s what ya get for messing wif da Cookie Monsta!
JJ cries, drinking more of his vodka. Then he looks up when he hears a familiar voice supply the next line in the memory.
Oi, ok there curly? Jesus, you look a sight.
Cook had finally moved into Emily’s flat since Naomi moved out for obvious reasons, which was odd when he really though about it because she was the one who wanted him to move in to begin with, oh well. He was enjoying this, living with his girlfriend thing they had going for them for the time being. It made him happy to see Emily even if it was just seeing her lying in bed before he went to work. He was a happy bloke although he knew his mates weren’t having the best of times. He got several text messages from Freddie entailing the happenings in his mind of his feelings toward Effy and JJ’s engagement, or re-engagement, he wasn’t quite sure what to refer to it as. He understood exactly what Freddie was going through because Cook went through the same thing when Freddie and Effy first began dating. He thought he had lost everything, even if he wasn’t saying it out loud, but he didn’t because his two best mates were always going to be there for him. Even when he fucked up JJ’s face, he still was there for him during the hearing with Freds and Effy. They were his true friends which is why when he got a text message from JJ asking him to come where they first met he had to go. Emily was in the shower but he popped his head in and let her know he would be back later on that night or in the morning, receiving a wet kiss before leaving the flat.
Bringing a lighter to the cigarette he had begun to balance between his two lips, he lit it and shoved the lighter into his front pocket. As he inhaled the smoke he could feel the cold metal of the lighter moving through the fabric of his jeans and to his leg. He figured what JJ was going on about, Freds of course. He knew JJ loved Freddie more than a mate but he had to let it go if he was going to be with Effy. They were engaged now, it’s not the same as being boyfriend and girlfriend with each other, it’s going to be forever. He removed the cigarette from his mouth, holding it between his fingers as he walked past a familiar park where he once went with Cassie and they frolicked a bit through the grass (well, she frolicked). He ruffled his hair, grabbing the hood of his jacket and pulling it up over his head. He knew JJ was going through some tough shit and Cook had to be there for him, open up as best he could about the situation and be as little of his crazy self as he could be. He reached the familiar chain link fence, seeing JJ siting down on the balance beam in the middle of the play ground. Cook smiles to himself, remembering their primary school years. They had good times once they became The Three Musketeers, the best times of his life happened before college did. He dropped the cigarette on the ground, stepping upon it as he hopped over the fence beginning to move through the wood chips. He moved his hands to both sides of his mouth, cupping his mouth slightly as he made a loud howling noise until he began laughing. “Oi, okay there curly? Jesus, you look a fuckin’ sight mate.” He said quietly as he grabbed the bottle and sat down beside him, bringing it to his lips as his eyes scanned the playground. “You remember Becky Glasworth from the all girls primary down the road?” He asked while wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. Becky was one of the many girls that The Three Musketeers began fancying simultaneously. “She let me touch her tits beneath the slide.” He laughed, shaking his head as he took another long drink from the vodka bottle.
Emily kept moving her lips down and down Cook’s neck until hitting the rim of his shirt. She removed one of her hands from his neck and slid part of his shirt down, nibbling on his collarbone and flicking her tongue lightly on the red marks her teeth left. She remembered the first night at the club of their first shag. the minute her lips touched his collarbone, he grabbed her and pulled her to the stairwell and they, well, had sex. It was weird to think about it, how that basically was what triggered their feelings for one another, started it all, you could say. Emily was pretty sure she did not have any feelings, or plan on having, any towards any male let alone Cook, but it just, fucking happened. It’s not controllable, is it? Feelings that is, no one can depict on who they will or will not fall in love with. It just happened and you had to deal with it. She could never picture herself with a guy, it seemed odd. She knew she liked girls way more than guys but there was something about James Cook, and Emily could not put her finger on it. Not like the feelings were fake, they were definitely real and vivid. She leaned her head back down against the mattress when he spoke again, looking back into his sparkling blue eyes. God, they were gorgeous. Emily let a chuckle escape her lips as she removed her other arm from his neck and the one on his shirt, hugging her sides. “You’re kidding, right? Of course you can move in, I want you to move in. A lot.” It was true, she could already picture her in his arms every night, waking up in his arms, being around him the majority of the time. It sent a warm and fuzzy feeling throughout her body. Emily slowly started to sit up and Cook started to lean back almost on impulse so they would not collide. She adjusted herself so she was sitting on her legs again, taking her black mug and taking a sip before putting it back down. “So, what do you want to do today?”
He felt her lips never leaving his neck and it was nice, he always enjoyed her lips anywhere he could have them on his skin especially his neck. She pulled down his shirt just enough and began licking and nibbling on his collar bone. Immediately flashing him back to the first time they shagged and every other time afterward. He got so turned on when they were dancing with each other and she began kissing and biting upon his collar bone that he couldn’t handle it and he knew he had to take her somewhere. Cook was never aware that he was going to be dating Emily Fitch after college. They weren’t even really friends, she seemed to always hate him because he was so obnoxious all of the time but that was just the way he was and people who wanted to be around him just had to deal with that unlikeable quality about himself. She stopped and responded to his question about moving in, bringing a grin to his face. He was happy that she was so enthusiastic about it but he was slightly nervous. Yes, the James Cook was nervous about something. He had never lived with a woman before, to be honest he barely lived with his mum over the years but here he was about to move in with someone that he was seeing. He had just began dating and now he was moving in with her, it was slightly nerve wracking and he hoped that he wasn’t the only one having this feeling but he was excited simultaneously. He wanted to wake up and see her sleeping next to him, the memories of the nights they hadn’t began dating yet flickered into his mind. She stayed the night and when they woke up the next morning he remembered thinking how beautiful she was even when she shouldn’t have been. Emily was really beautiful and he hadn’t ever seen her as more than Emily Fitch until after college but now he couldn’t stop thinking about the amazing qualities about his girlfriend. His thoughts/memories were suddenly interrupted when he watched Emily sitting up beneath himself. He moved aside, sitting down on the bed beside her as he let her grab her mug again. “Don’t be mad about me not having the hot chocolate, I just don’t fancy it much.” He said with a shrug, pushing the mug away further. His mum wasn’t that woman who made hot chocolate for her boys during the holiday seasons, most of the time she would buy large bundles of take out food and leave it about the house for as long as it would last. Cold pizza was only good so many times in a day. So, what do you want to do today? “Dunno babe, you tell me.” He said while pushing his shoes off of his feet, sitting on the bed so his back was against the pillows and headboard. He had a long day at work and he was in the mood to just be with her, unless she had something special in mind he could muster up some of that Cook energy he seemed to always have.
(Source: fuckinggateauu)
